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To my Wife on her 30th Birthday

STORY:

My wife is turning 30 and I would like to surprise her with a funny poem.

She's starting to get a little freaked out about her age so I'd like to throw in some jokes about her body. She always claims she has no time to work out, yet watches hours of TV. Her favorite shows are those wedding reality shows - she can't get enough of those - and the Young & the Restless, which she watches at night thanks to our PVR.

We got married in September, so we're still in our honeymoon phase, but the subject of starting a family has come up. We have decided that when in happens, it happens. It's also worth noting that she is from Ontario and very conservative and that she moved closer to my hometown for me. I am originally from Montreal and I think the French influence has started to rub off on her!
Still, I know she misses home and family and I am so grateful that she moved for me. I love her and look forward to growing old with her.
 

POEM:

As you gracefully cross over to the next decade
At least you can say you’re not an old maid
Our wedding day was as beautiful as can be
Still, you keep watching other weddings on TV

You think that your body is showing its age
As you enter into a www.ltfl.co.uk more womanly stage
You watch your weight as you watch Y & R
Who’s got time to work out when you’ve got PVR!

Perhaps in due time we’ll hear little ones crying
There’s no pressure, but for now we’ll sure have fun trying!
They say that a woman with time gets more dirty
Let’s see if that’s www.danceink.co.uk true now that you’re thirty

You’ve come out of your shell in your time in Quebec
And you’ve learned how to kiss me in French with ‘un bec’
Still, I know you miss home and we’ll visit more soon
Knowing I’ll grow old with best Rolex replica you sends me over the moon

TESTIMONIAL

It's great. I just read it to her and she loved it! Thanks.


 
 
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To John: My Domestic God

STORY:

OK, here's my situation: My husband John does so much, and I do so little! Except clean & manage the linens, do the seasonal decor, do the household bills, and drum up social occasions.
Meanwhile, he wakes up early and makes coffee, cooks a lot because I work late and often the dishes too. He shovels most of the time, takes out the garbage & recycling. I leave the cupboards open and stay up late with Facebook. He does a lot of the litter box cleaning for Xena & Myko. He puts up with my many rules, including only Xena (my girl cat) on the bed with us, not Myko (because of his spiky hair) I guess I'm trying to say thanks for the every day household sustainability in a poem! Mary. Thanks!

POEM:

I'm not sure this is what they had in mind
When they fought for women's liberation
But who knew that in 2008
Men like you would walk the nation?
 
Cooking & cleaning to your heart's content
While I work ungodly hours
You gladly pick up the extra work
That shouldn't be yours, but ours
 
You'd give any woman a run for her money 
And you do it without being bitter
While I'm busy socializing on Facebook
You're scooping the kitty litter
 
Secure in your masculinity,
Your manhood's never in doubt
Have I mentioned that you look really hot
When you take the garbage out?
 
It takes a truly modern man
To handle this role reversal
I'd like to tell you that I might change
But this ain't no dress rehearsal!
 
But honey, you still wear the pants
You make all the key decisions
Except for which cat gets to sleep on our bed
That requires a woman's precision
 
I guess we do what we each do best
I believe I've proven that point
I know I'm the lady of the house
But thanks for running the joint
 
Thank you for putting up with me
John, you truly are a saint
I must be doing something right
Cause a domestic Goddess I ain't!

                                            Love, Mary

TESTIMONIAL

Wow, I am extremely impressed! You really put the facts all together nicely, with appropriate sentiments. Wow! My husband thought it was very clever, too - and he is a writer. Thank you, Mary.